Ask Dr. Barb: Celebrity suicides highlight need for mental health awareness

Dr. Barbara Rosenberg

Dear Dr. Barb:

I work with sensitive, creative young people for whom Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain would have been among role models. When successful, high-profile people commit suicide, it makes it harder to coach those who must survive all the failures and disappointments that typically come before a breakthrough. And what does one say to those who wonder about getting through significant life challenges in the face of role models for whom success was apparently not enough? 

Dear Reader:

Needless to say, the suicides of exceptionally creative and talented celebrities like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain are shocking and very sad to us all. These tragic, self-inflicted deaths raise many good questions such as yours. Often the most frequent question asked about celebrity suicide is why an individual, having achieved so much fame, admiration and success in a career, would suddenly end his or her life.                                

Of course, one can never know the inner struggles that everyday people, let alone a celebrity, might be hiding from the spotlight.  However, according to Dr. Jeffrey Lieberman, chair of psychiatry at Columbia University in New York, suicide does not just happen out of the blue. There are warning signs in spite of these sudden deaths, and about 90 percent of all those who commit suicide have a pre-existing psychiatric condition.  Reportedly, Kate Spade was fighting depression and anxiety for five years and, for many with this kind of illness, life can be an agonizing, daily struggle. Bourdain, who had a history of substance addictions including heroin, cocaine and alcohol, has been quoted as having previously contemplated suicide.  

Depression and anxiety can result from many different situations.  Some individuals struggle chronically for years due to biological reasons.  In other cases the link might be problems with relationships, health, substance abuse, finances, housing, job or legal problems. There also may be factors that include loneliness, a history of trauma and abuse or, unfortunately, the stigma associated with asking for help. Any combination of two or more of these situations will, of course, make the struggle much more difficult.

Obviously, suicide can affect people at all levels of society.  Even individuals like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, who seem to have accomplished everything they could ever dream of, are not immune to depression and suicide. Success and wealth don’t seem to be enough to carry them through.  In fact, individuals in high profile situations may experience even more difficulty publicly expressing their despair  due to feelings of shame and guilt about having so much and feeling so worthless.      

In addition, reaching the pinnacle of success often can lead to a sense of personal emptiness. In a culture that emphasizes material success and accomplishment, the goal to develop healthy relationships and to contribute to the wellbeing of others becomes less important.  In contrast, driven by ever escalating goals of competition and self-aggrandizement, one easily can lose sight of what is truly meaningful.  For that reason, even with the big raise or job promotion one still may feel unhappy and unfulfilled. When one’s personal identity is all about wealth and success, an individual may easily lose one’s healthier sense of self in a community that only supports the goal of getting ahead.

However, in light of the increasing rate of suicide in America today, there are questions to be asked such as yours, and certainly communities, workplaces, families and faith-based institutions can play a role in the conversations to be had. As an example, a very recent study published in the NY Times reports that “many struggle with the benefit and burden of affluence.” Some reported feeling pressure from other people’s expectations as well as judgments about their wealth. More money may be better than less, but about half of the respondents said that the sacrifices that they made to accumulate their wealth and success meant that they had spent less time with friends and family. In fact, the regret rose to nearly two thirds for the people at the higher end of the wealth range.  If ever striving to get to the top means sacrificing time with your friends, your loved ones and your health, there is a real loss in priority-setting in our everyday culture.

On the other hand, life itself can be fraught with ongoing disappointment and failures. Most people, just working hard to get through their daily trials, never reach the level of success of celebrities like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  And, trying to set priorities and maintaining a healthy work-life balance while producing enough income to pay monthly bills often can create stressful family relationships. Or, in reverse, family and relationship problems may make it more difficult to meet work expectations. In either case, both problems can lead to struggles with anxiety and depression.                 

Please reinforce to your students that there are times when we all need support with such challenges. A workplace that supports flexible work hours so that individuals can spend time with their families, positive communication and teamwork as well as the value of learning from mistakes will enable the working individual to grow and develop in the healthiest way.  In these situations, co-workers can become like family to provide the social support one needs in times of disappointment and crisis.

 Nevertheless, at other times, an individual may require more than the support of friends, co-workers and family members.  We are all only human and not every life problem can be solved on our own.  When moments like this arise, speaking to a mental health professional like a psychologist, social worker or psychiatrist can literally be a lifesaver. In so doing, an individual can learn to see his or her struggles in a different light and consequently develop better coping mechanisms and methods of problem solving.

Moreover, medication alone for depression cannot replace the value of face-to-face conversations with a therapeutic professional.  On the other hand, with or without medication, talking out one’s problems with a skilled and empathic listener can make a world of difference in developing a greater sense of understanding and compassion for oneself. From time to time, anyone can feel frustrated, alone and down on oneself.  Talking with an experienced mental health professional enhances one’s perspective and can lead to the realization that ending one’s life is a tragic, permanent solution to what may only be a normal and temporary life problem.

Barbara L. Rosenberg, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist whose Summit practice serves individuals of all ages, as well as couples and families. She previously chaired educational and social programs for the Essex-Union County Association of Psychologists. Contact her through BarbaraRosenberg.com.