Ask Dr. Barb: How to manage job security worries

Dear Dr. Barb,

I am a regular reader of your column. You often advise against worrying about the worst-case scenario (catastrophizing) in a given situation. I’ve found this hard to do. I am 42, and I work in retail marketing. My company has suffered huge losses with the months-long closure of our stores nationwide. I have been working from home, but I have found it hard to remain optimistic even with decent online revenue and plans to reopen our physical locations. I am worried that I might be a layoff target. The idea that I might lose my job and need to reinvent myself to compete for an already limited number of “career” jobs is honestly distressing. I would appreciate any ideas you can offer on staying positive and moving ahead effectively.

Dear Reader,

Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, many individuals are facing real threats to their survival both health-wise and financially. Being concerned about the future is a very human response. Yet in these times of unprecedented uncertainty, catastrophizing can be the least effective way to regain control.

This pattern of thinking that jumps to the most negative possible outcomes usually leads to feelings of powerlessness with relentless worry that we will not be able to cope with whatever may happen. The overwhelming fear of catastrophic outcome can sometimes create a self-fulfilling prophecy whereby the person, feeling so powerless, actually gives up trying.

In this pandemic, news and facts about unemployment numbers change negatively on a daily basis, and it becomes easy to fear that you could lose your job, and your career will end. However, imagining the worst-case scenario is a self-defeating way to address the problem. Here are a few healthier ideas to cope with your fears:

Envision different outcomes. As an example, your present job may be eliminated but there are other career opportunities that will require marketing experience. You can always upgrade your skills without having to totally reinvent yourself. Additionally, you do not have to be so afraid of reinventing yourself. At 42, you are young enough to make changes in your career. However, this strategy would also be effective for older readers. To anyone facing a similar challenge, regardless of age: Remind yourself that while it might be challenging, you have done difficult things in the past, and you can do so again.

Distance yourself from negativity. If you are unable to avoid catastrophic thinking, and the anxiety becomes overwhelming, try limiting your worries to 15 minutes daily by writing them down. Then put the list in a drawer to be renewed for 15 minutes the following day and as needed.

Try humor. Think of your negative thoughts as impositions by a humorous character like Hopeless Harry, who thinks the world is going to end. Remain aware that he cannot forecast the future, and he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about.

Don’t worry about worrying. Sometimes the belief that you cannot stop worrying can cause you to worry more. Remember that your thoughts are only thoughts. Just because you think something might happen, it won’t necessarily happen. Worrisome thoughts easily
can come and go if you don’t engage them.

Add positive to negative. You don’t necessarily have to bury your negative feelings, but you can try letting the positive ones sit alongside them. For example, remind yourself how well you coped with challenges in the past. Remember how responsible and reliable you have been to get where you are today in your career. After all, you still are employed remotely in a company that has suffered huge losses but yet has decent online revenue and plans to reopen its stores. By being optimistic, you can give yourself permis- sion to remain hopeful, even if from time to time you feel anxious and fearful.

Care for yourself. Self-care such as exercising regularly, eating nutritiously, sleeping restfully and maintaining social interactions, even if just by phone or video. is another way to manage your anxiety. Consider having a conversation with someone you trust in order to get a more optimistic perspective.

Volunteer. Productively refocus and make a positive contribution to social causes by getting involved with a volunteer organization. Such work can give you a renewed sense of purpose while reducing stress and feelings of powerlessness. Also, volunteer work sometimes leads to other job opportunities.

Use social media wisely. It may be wise to limit news and social media, as the messages can become quite nerve-racking, making it difficult to separate fact from fiction. However, using social media (or phone calls) to network with friends and former coworkers might create future job opportunities.

Managing anxiety with compassion for yourself and others will help you make the best decisions you can for yourself and your family. You will be better equipped to maintain hopefulness and confidently face the difficult challenges ahead.

Barbara L. Rosenberg, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist whose Summit practice serves individuals of all ages, as well as couples and families. She previously chaired educational and social programs for the Essex- Union County Association of Psychologists. Contact her through BarbaraRosenberg.com